Ouch..

I was thinking about preparations for giving Sigyn her May Cup this Friday and remembered I had a wax tart of Sweet Violet (I have a feeling they're one of her favorite flowers) in my candle box; which meant getting rid of the left overs of my last tart in my oil burner.

It was still a bit liquid at the top but I thought I'd manage to get it all down to the kitchen without spilling. Forgot to touch wood.

Spilled it all over my hands and found out rather quickly it was still scalding hot. It also went over the faces of my drawers and splashed on some tights in an open drawer below, and a few drops went onto my carpet.

Luckily I seem to be immune to hot wax so my hands are completely fine; blister and lobster coloured free. 

The wax easily lifted off the wood; but I had to pull what wax I could from my carpet with my fingers and found that using a wad of sandpaper-ish looking stuff lifted most of it out, which I didn't expect. (I wouldn't advise anyone to do this to their own carpets, I'm just a reckless idiot) I'll see how it looks after the next time I hoover.

 I also think I got the wax mostly out of my tights by dousing them in a bath of boiling water then adding cool water so the oil  on the the surface solidified.

At least I now know how not to go about cleaning my oil burner next time...and the best way to de-wax clothes. 

I bet Loki found all this quite amusing; it was basically all done as soon as I got the burner clear of his altar top.

Managing Time

I feel that one of my main problems is there isn't seriously enough hours in a day.

For example:

• Today is cleaning day so I have to hoover and dust my bedroom. 
• I also have three power points to be in this following week (two have to be in on Thursday) so I need to get some done today as well. 
• I've been neglecting to do any ritual or meditative work so I need to find space for that.
• I also want some free time to do things I like doing  to unwind (reading, blogging etc)
• It's also Sunday, so I need be to in bed at a reasonably hour for work tomorrow.

It amazes me constantly when I read others blogs or posts how well they can manage all these daily things and still have time left over without breaking a sweat. Maybe when I'm done with college, and hopefully have my own flat, I'll be in a position where I can devote more time to each without distractions.

I've read somewhere that cleaning the home can be turned/seen as a ritual (I suppose, cleansing the sacred space and what not) but I don't know if I can get past the 'oh-god-another-chore' feeling and look at it as something to look forward to just yet.

I have been lighting up the candles on Loki's corner lately but it doesn't feel like anything because I haven't been giving enough effort in my other areas. It feels like he's taken leave from the altar for the mean time until I can muster up something. 

It's funny how earlier this year it was constant dream after dream, and now it's very quiet - probably because I'm focusing so much on college now rather than earlier this year when I was pouring over the Edda's and thinking about them constantly.

Other Lokeans, and I, have all noticed that he does have periods when he's very 'there' and other times where he's flown off  for a while (away planning something big) and come back.

I'm hoping, internally, that he hasn't decided to hand me over to Odin for a little while - if he has then there's nothing I can really do; but after that dream and the way I acted, I've got the feeling that Odin will push me even harder in whatever he's there to teach me about. Eek.

More Dreams and Such

I had a flash of a dream I'd had either last night or the night before;

I was with a little girl, who I sensed as my daughter, and I appeared as older and more mature. I was speaking to her, saying words from the Eddas and pronouncing them slowly so she could repeat them back. One of the words I remember was Ragnarok, and I said it so softly, making sure I said each syllable and letter correctly that it almost sounded like I had a northern accent - more so than my normal Scots accent. 'Rhag-nar-ock'. And she smiled up at me; not speaking, just us smiling at each other before I moved on to the next word.

In other news, I bought a cinnamon Yankee candle for Loki's altar, as well as a bracelet of carnelian stones: I was going to originally buy one made from chips beads, but I saw one which had nice, smooth, chunky stones instead. It also feel nicer and has a more reassuring weight on my wrists*. I showered with it on so it got a cleanse, and now feels even lighter. I love it :)

Besides from those two, I actually went out and bought clothes for once. I don't think the family has quiet recovered just yet.

*My wrists are really sensitive, and I hate people or heavy things (like some bracelets or watches) touching them, so I can only wear certain ones which don't irritate the skin so much, like the chip beads probably would have. 

If it does irritate the skin, I either feel really sick, or if someone has touched them to get my attention, I pretty much jerk my whole arm and body away violently - it's a shocking reaction when you first see me do it, then it apparently gets amusing...or so all my mates say.

Just a little personal fun fact about me there.

Whoops

I was leaving to go to Mum's youth group on Monday night when I noticed that the wax from my burner had some how spilt onto the cloth and mostly over Loki's picture.
It could have been when I was blowing out the candle, the night before that, and I must have blown the melted wax over the rim, but there is no way that it could have reached that high on his picture. Maybe he doesn't like it, maybe it was something else. Or it really was just me, but I would have noticed it splashing out. I dunno.
Luckily, the glass plate the cloth is wrapped about is equal-sided so I just turned it around so it hid the marks left over. I managed to have to scrap the wax off of the glass and frame of his picture later that night. I guess if it really was him and he really didn't like it, I'll probably know it soon enough (I wouldn't put it past him knocking it off the table or hiding it if it offends him that much).

Loki's Altar

I was writing up some tarot card meanings into my little book earlier this evening when Loki invaded my head space.

"...A cloth would brighten up the altar..."

I had been thinking about doing up Loki's altar for a while but never got round to doing it; but I was up and scrounging about for something nice as soon as he'd finished.

My Mum keeps rolls of satin-y fabrics, which she uses for making things - like skirts, when her youth group need some for their yearly show, or when my sister and I had to make things for our Art projects.
So I had a rummage. I had been hoping for some red, but all I found that was close second was a dark orange colour. It'd have to do, beggars can't be choosers.

So I got the cloth settled onto the altar (I found that rather then having the edges dangling and getting caught, I could wrap the cloth around and under the glass surface top - present wrapping skills do come in handy) but it was still lacking something.
Then I hear Loki again.

"...Go find a picture of me and put it behind the candles..."

Onto the internet I go for a while, and I chose this image of Loki by Arthur Rackham, which I've printed, laminated and framed.

The reason I chose that illustration by Rackham is it's a long joke between me, my friends, and Loki:
In our Art class a few years back (I'd only just come into being interested in Loki then), part of our coarse work was to write an essay about two different artists and to analyse one of their works each.
I was being a rebel and chose Figurative as one of my mediums (most people choose either still life or fantasy and imagination, so I was a first in a long time to choose that).
I was given a list where I could choose my two figure artists from, about a hundred or so names.
Randomly, I picked Rackham, and started looking for a picture...and the first one that pops up is that one of Loki.
Cue friends laughing and saying that Loki must have caused that to happen, out of all the other artists to pick on the list it had to be that guy, and how I've not much choice but to write about that picture. And I did! A full extra 500 words on his picture alone (I was told later to cut it down to a sensible length, damn). So yeah, I've got fond memories with that illustration.

Anyways, along with Loki's picture, I printed off a picture of Yggdrasil which is now above my bed, and a list of runes and their meanings to keep in my folder of useful things.

It's still not as good or pretty as some altars I've seen (no room for sheep skulls, flowers or hundreds of crystals and candles) but it's getting there; the orange is so eye catching though, which I feel is what Loki likes the most about it - it can't be ignored! >:D

Trying To Create Balance

A few days ago, it was decided that Leo (my 14 week old rabbit), was going to be moved from the study into my room - we're planning on getting him a larger cage and my dressing table is the only free surface big enough for it to go.

But my dressing table was actually my alter space with all my candles, incense etc. I had no choice but to move all my gear somewhere else. It had to be in an open space (I couldn't bear the thought of hiding my tools in a cupboard), it had to be easy to reach (so the shelves were out) and it had to be big enough at least to hold the very basics.
But there was no room, at all.
I must have stood for a good half hour, turning around, looking to see where I could move-this-to-create-space-there. A bit of reorganization later and I had converted my beside table into a ... shrine, I guess. It's not the best and it doesn't compare to my old alter - which I had received nice comments about when I posted a photo online a few years back - but it would have to make do.
I said a message to Loki (as it is basically his shrine) that if he sees room for improvement or would like something added, to give me a hint.
So far: flowers would be nice, some image of himself (statue, picture or symbol) and maybe a cloth.

As for the 'Quiet Worship Time' I had planned to do to help get myself back into daily worship, I think most of the meditations were designed for those who live alone or have the time in the day to sit down and have peace and quiet for a few hours.
Apparently, these meditations don't really work when you still live at home with your parents and older sister (Which also means my plan to live as stress free as possible is buggered. No one is stress free when they still live at home, you nearly murder each other every week.). It's a struggle to concentrate.

The only time I can focus is at night, about twelve or one in the morning when everyone is asleep; I even tried last night, but the problem was that Leo was still moving about. I tried using meditation podcasts and music on my iPod to tune everything out....but it was 1am, I was shattered, and I ended up rolling over and going to sleep. And I can't do it during the day as I work full time during the summer holidays.

I'm struggling a bit with how much time I can really give and I can only give very brief rituals or very meager offerings to Loki of sweets and energy drinks (which I'm lucky that he likes)