Since Sigyn has been hovering around, I feel more inclined to not say I'm a only a Lokean, but rather say I'm a Norse Pagan or 'right smack bang within the Rökkatru/Rökkr patheon'. Good times.

Fretting aside, I'm legitimatly looking forward to tonight with Siygn. Even the altar, which was Loki's corner, has become a bit more feminine looking - I gave her an old teddy I had since I was little and sat it amongst my pagan books.
I also found yesterday at college one of those small plastic flowers lying on the floor in the hallway - it was only the flower head, but it looked so out of place I instinctively picked it up and carried on. It's now sitting beside Loki's carnelian stone and Sigyn's rose quartz, at the base of my white candle.

If I had the room I'd make separate altars for any of them who stopped by, but for now it'll do - I don't think they mind too much sharing a space. I even think they rather like it.


Last night I tried some meditation lying down - to help me sleep. It was going pretty well, then cue a massive full body spasm which knocked my concentration and I couldn't get back into my rhythm. I'm used to twitching hands and heads turning suddenly, but this is a first that my entire body jolted.
Must have had a lot of tension that needed booted out, heh.

More Dreams and Such

I had a flash of a dream I'd had either last night or the night before;

I was with a little girl, who I sensed as my daughter, and I appeared as older and more mature. I was speaking to her, saying words from the Eddas and pronouncing them slowly so she could repeat them back. One of the words I remember was Ragnarok, and I said it so softly, making sure I said each syllable and letter correctly that it almost sounded like I had a northern accent - more so than my normal Scots accent. 'Rhag-nar-ock'. And she smiled up at me; not speaking, just us smiling at each other before I moved on to the next word.

In other news, I bought a cinnamon Yankee candle for Loki's altar, as well as a bracelet of carnelian stones: I was going to originally buy one made from chips beads, but I saw one which had nice, smooth, chunky stones instead. It also feel nicer and has a more reassuring weight on my wrists*. I showered with it on so it got a cleanse, and now feels even lighter. I love it :)

Besides from those two, I actually went out and bought clothes for once. I don't think the family has quiet recovered just yet.

*My wrists are really sensitive, and I hate people or heavy things (like some bracelets or watches) touching them, so I can only wear certain ones which don't irritate the skin so much, like the chip beads probably would have. 

If it does irritate the skin, I either feel really sick, or if someone has touched them to get my attention, I pretty much jerk my whole arm and body away violently - it's a shocking reaction when you first see me do it, then it apparently gets amusing...or so all my mates say.

Just a little personal fun fact about me there.

Soooo, my first day at college

The buses decided to run on time today, resulting in me getting into town much earlier than I expected, but that gave me time to daudle around W.H.Smith and look at their books. I'm surprised at the number of books that I've had trouble finding in Waterstones; I'll vow that I'll check WHS first next time. I didn't have enough money for a book in the end, so I just got my lunch and headed to the college.

Most people scoff when they hear people say how much they think about gods or worship during their normal day to day lives; I was one of those people untill I realised that I'm basically thinking over Norse tales and about Loki or the others constantly. I spent the entire walk to the college eating the fruit salad I had bought and thinking about Idunna's golden apples as I munched on mine: what would Idunna's taste like? Would you feel the magick in them as you ate them? Would she like some apples left somewhere in offering? I don't worship her really, but I think she'd like them anyways.

I had hoped that I'd run into some people I knew for the inductions, and I spotted a familiar back and head of hair outside the doors, so I did the usual thing and ran up to them and kicked their bag (after, you know, checking that I was really them and not some random...cause that would be really awkward). So we chatted about school, results, how the group is being really bitchy lately, then we headed inside and went to our separate departments for our inductions. 

Two hours later - after a tour, discussing topics, looking at timetables - I headed into the town.

...Okay not true, I hung about for about half an hour, as I didn't know if it was just a break for lunch or if that was it. I gave up in the end THEN I went into town for a browse.

I headed into the local Pagan shop for a look; I hadn't thought about buying anything (I didn't have much) but I spotted a chunk of carnelian and a spiral metal pendant for holding rocks. I thought about that necklace that I dreamed about and decided, yes, I will buy and somehow make that for Loki.

And I did, and am wearing it now. It's a bit bland and doesn't have the beads like in the dream (I might add them on if I get some) but I really like it.

 I had been thinking for a while that my Mjölnir pendant wouldn't properly show that I belong to Loki, even thought I had bought one with a red gem, just for him. Thor's Hammer is considered a universal symbol for those of Norse Pagan beliefs, but people would assume that my god is Thor, and I wanted to find something that would be directly linked to him. 

I've always linked carnelian stones to Loki (no idea why) and I've decorated his alter in them; at the shop, I didn't look at all the stones on offer, I just immediately zoned in on them out of all the others.

Update:

After typing that last paragraph, I decided I would try and see if carnelian is linked to him or why I would think that (I do have a crystal handbook, but I couldn't even recite one of the stones out of it so i doubt it's something I read in there. I did check anyways, and it didn't say much).

I found this site which goes into detail about the properties of carnelian and it's said to help public speaking, give courage, linked to the root chakra, gives optimism and helps relieve stress, among other things. (I read it through going 'shiiiit, no wonder I got the Loki vibe off of it.')

I can't be far off the mark, as some other Lokeans, or those who worship within the Rökkr, have used carnelian in their ritual or dedication jewelry too. Could just be because they like the orange colour, which would suit them, or they feel the same as me. Either way, if more than one person is doing the same, then you must be doing something right.