Oh shit

I've just got up from a weird dream (I'm on holiday so I'm having a long lie in, sue me) so I'm getting it down while I still can.

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There was a friend in the dream; he looked familiar and I could point a finger at who it was out of my group of friends in real life, but because my head's still fuzzy, he could have been made up to fill in the gap.
Either way, this friend and I were going to an old man's house as we'd been round to others where the men and women had been (I think, we weren't shown) hurt or killed, and we felt this guy was next.

 A noticeable point was that the dream kept showing our clothing; my friend was dressed in normal clothes (black shirt and black trousers) but I was in a long red knee length top, brown boots and had reddish hair with a braid hanging on one side.

We get to the house and head over to the fireplace where there's a heap of books. The friend sits in a chair and I start sifting through the books; which are on occult, paganism and the Eddas.

There's a sudden sense of panic as me and my friend looked at each other- we feel something coming. I then spot another book that my friend is actually sitting on, so I pull it out. It's a book on Wotan/Odin and the wild hunt.
Next thing, the door's being kicked off the hinges and there was a storm blowing a gale. In the door way is Odin with his staff, helmet, armor and all his shining glory - the whole deal really -even his aura or presence screamed power. I would have been crapping myself at the sight of him just being there on any other day. But...

On instinct, I ran up to him and stood with my arms spread to stop him from getting to my friend - but Odin was huge and I only came up to his waist. He pushed past and made for my friend, who looked unconscious.
I start speaking softly to Odin (there was no way in hell I was going to should at HIM; coming to get my friend or not, he still had my respect as a god), saying things like "Please, Odin. Not him." "Please, leave him alone." "Odin, you can't have him."as I walked in step with him, arms behind my back, like some adviser, or tugged at his sleeve to get his attention.

Finally, when Odin's standing beside my friend, he looks at me and asks "Why do you care so much?"
"Please Odin, I'll do anything. Just leave him be." Calm as you please for standing up to the big boss.
He smiled and there was a twinkle in his good eye (not a good sign) as he leaned down to look at my face. "What would you do for him?"
I said instantly, truthfully (no way in Hell was I going to lie to him) "I'd die for him."
"You'd do that? Why is that then?"
"I'd do anything for him, just like you would do anything for your Loki." That basically jumped out of my mouth, but it must have got through to him.

Odin stood up and look at my friend.  There was another twinkle in his eye, which meant the debt I was going to owe Odin for my friend's life was either going to be hard going or would test my morals. Or sanity.
Odin vanished and my friend woke up and looked at me, but I ignored him and took his watch hand to see the time (in my other dreams, Odin has left little messages or numbers on watches) and saw a count down from 40 secs on the screen. Instantly I ran into another room while my friend went and got somethings.

The dream went on for a little while longer then I got woken up.

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That's the first dream I've had where Loki hasn't been nearby in some way; but going by the way I was speaking to Odin, what I was saying, as well as the weird clothes I had on...I wonder if I was meant to be 'playing' Loki in some way. Okay, maybe not fully as I knew I was still me, but possibly a little bit.

I'm also wondering what Odin was going to do to my friend; kill him? He wasn't the one who owned the books.
I think maybe, in a way, it was about my friend (in real life) becoming interested in Norse Paganism and in particular, Odin.  It could be that if my friend does do so, Odin will be rough with him... in a bad way.
 Still, I think if that was the case, Odin's backed off for a little bit after my little act of good friendship. But I'll be asking my friend next time I see him if he's been becoming interested in Norse teachings (might as well ask the others too, just in case).

 I'll have to wait and see if I really did pay off the debt in the dream or if that's what he wants me to do for him here in non-dream land...or if he has something else in mind.

More Dreams and Such

I had a flash of a dream I'd had either last night or the night before;

I was with a little girl, who I sensed as my daughter, and I appeared as older and more mature. I was speaking to her, saying words from the Eddas and pronouncing them slowly so she could repeat them back. One of the words I remember was Ragnarok, and I said it so softly, making sure I said each syllable and letter correctly that it almost sounded like I had a northern accent - more so than my normal Scots accent. 'Rhag-nar-ock'. And she smiled up at me; not speaking, just us smiling at each other before I moved on to the next word.

In other news, I bought a cinnamon Yankee candle for Loki's altar, as well as a bracelet of carnelian stones: I was going to originally buy one made from chips beads, but I saw one which had nice, smooth, chunky stones instead. It also feel nicer and has a more reassuring weight on my wrists*. I showered with it on so it got a cleanse, and now feels even lighter. I love it :)

Besides from those two, I actually went out and bought clothes for once. I don't think the family has quiet recovered just yet.

*My wrists are really sensitive, and I hate people or heavy things (like some bracelets or watches) touching them, so I can only wear certain ones which don't irritate the skin so much, like the chip beads probably would have. 

If it does irritate the skin, I either feel really sick, or if someone has touched them to get my attention, I pretty much jerk my whole arm and body away violently - it's a shocking reaction when you first see me do it, then it apparently gets amusing...or so all my mates say.

Just a little personal fun fact about me there.

Hearing things

I've only just woken up properly. A few minutes ago I was dreaming and it came to a part in the dream were my sister and I were looking up a calender, and pointed at the 30th which had been marked as an anniversary (no idea whose, not our parents anyways).

At this point I was almost awake, trying to stay in the dream to see the end when I heard a whistled note beside my bed. I ignored it and it did it again but with a diffident pitch.
I opened my eyes, no one there. I breathed through my nose a few times, to see that it was me. It wasn't.
So now I'm hearing people whistling by my bed - great.

Last week I had heard something as well,  but I didn't type it up.
I was relaxed in bed, trying to drop off when I heard "Mam" (Mum) and lots of little kids giggling. I then heard a man shouting at them for shrieking, which lead to him snarling at them, while they continued to laugh and scream...but I was debating whether that was just me, as it wasn't as prominent as that first word.

I've read before that when we're on the edge of falling asleep or waking up, it is like we're in a relaxed trance like state (or something along those lines) so it's easier to heard, feel or see things - like ghosts, deities, gods.
I don''t know if it was Loki whistling at me, but it feels like something he'd do to get my attention.

It's not just in my sleep though: last night, before bed, I had heard something metallic (like my necklace chain or my charm bracelet) being moved on the altar- just a tinkling sound as it did. I turned round when I heard that, and looked about for something that could have moved them to make the noise.
I got the mental image if Loki sitting on my bed, beside the altar, poking at my/his things, looking completely fascinated. He had shorter hair now, which is quite amusing to me - suits him though.

That's my bit, will try typing other stuff I hear when they happen.

Semi good day

I had a dream last night that my bus driver was being an absolute dick and I had to flag down another bus, who wouldn't tell me how much I was for my fare.

Annnnnd this morning my bus was half an hour late! Normally when I leave my house at 8am, I only have to wait about ten minutes tops for a bus to come up my road. It also means I usually arrive in the town about 8:30am and I can walk into college, buy my breakfast and be outside my class by 8:45am or near enough. I only just managed to get into my class on time.

The best bit is though, that there is this one driver (let's call him Mr Baldy) who I can't stand. He won't give me my single fare into town, he only lets me buy returns or All Day tickets (I'm serious, he wouldn't give me a single no matter what).
Here's how our morning conversations go:

Me: £1.40 to Guild Street please.
Him: *takes my money* Are you a student.
Me: Yes.
Him: *holds hand out* Student Card.
Me: I don't have one yet.
Him: *glare* £1.40. Are you at college?
Me: I am, yes.
Him: Hmm. St. Paul's Street - £1.90.
Me: I don't want to go to St. Paul's Street - I want off at Guild Street!
Him: Fine. You'd better buying a return.
Me: No thanks, just the single.
Him: No, it's cheaper.
Me: No it's not, I just want the single.

But this time I am fuming mad, there's a huge queue behind me, I am running late because of him and I just want a single bloody ticket to Guild Street - I don't want a return fare for £3.60 or to go another street! Just give me what I asked and get me there! And he only does it to me! No one else! They can get their tickets and be in their seats within fifteenth seconds, I have to battle and negotiate before I can get mine. And no, he's not trying to be helpful; he's just trying to waste my time and get more money off me, and becomes more unco-operative the more I don't do what he says and buy the more expensive (and in my case useless) All Day ticket.

Thankfully there's other drivers who are much nicer and give you the right fare, no backchat, with smile. They are the ones who really deserve the 'Thank you!' when you jump off at your stop. I only say it to Mr Baldy because I'm polite. The arsehole.

On the plus side, when I went book hunting I found all three books that I wanted on offer (pick and match, 3 for 2)! Horray!

Downside, my sister just crushed my dream of taking a parapsychology coarse by being an utter kill joy over how I'd never get a job. Even though I'd get a Ph.D out of it and could do other medical or psychological topics after.
Really though, I have less chance of getting a job as a photographer if I stick with this photography coarse: you'd be more likely to get a good job with a degree in a medical/science rather than with a HND in photography, surely?

Not get a good job...who'd want to hire someone with a degree in ghost hunting....Just look at Dr. Ciaran O'Keeffe, my dear sister. I'm sure his woe over having an unusual degree is softened by the sound of fame and money in his pocket. Just sayin'.

Necklace Idea?

I had another dream last night:

I was dreaming that I was trying to get to work but I kept going over to a shop window to look inside. It was a full of dream catchers of every varitity so I went on my way, only to walk back to the window a few minutes later.

This time, on the display, it showed possible alter items. My eye caught that of a orange glazed fire bowl and some small gold statues of Loki - either smiling with his hand on his hip, ones with him and Fenrir, or when he was disguised as 'Freyja's maid when him and Thor went to retrieve his hammer. 

 I made a mental note to get those items for my alter and I went inside . 

As I wandered inside, I looked up and hanging from hooks were necklaces of all colours, when I spotted the following one.

It was decorated with chipped crystals as beads (in red, orange, gold) , which started about half way round the chain and stopped at the front, leaving a gap. From that gap, on a smaller bit of chain, hung a rounded, red stone encased in some silver so it didn't fall out. Carved into the stone with silver paint was an image of Sleipnir.

I immediately reached up and tried to free the necklace from the hook, but it was too high. One of the workers of the shop used a pole and brought it down and I put it on. I didn't have to pay for it as I left, and no one said otherwise.

Since then, I've been on the internet, trying to see if I've seen something like it before or what, but as far as I know the necklace I dreamed about hasn't been made.

It would have been a combination of the following pictures. Who knows, I might plan to make something similar if I can find the material in town. I'll have to see.

Introduced to Njord

Mum and Dad went out yesterday, so I finally had the time to go for a walk around the neighborhood and to buy some snacks. It was pretty misty and damp, but funnily enough I was really happy about the weather. Sun and heat is all nice, but it feels like nothings happening. When it's raining or there's mist, it's a visible sign that nature is doing something; rain feels like all the bad energy is being washed away, and mist just screams to me that something is happening that needs to be hidden - like something out of a Victoria crime novel, with the black capes swirling in the London smog as a murder is committed.

I spent most of the walk thinking about Loki (nothing new, just musing away over things) and I reached the shop to get a bottle of Pepsi. As I was paying for the Pepsi, I just reached out and added bar of chocolate to my buys - no reason for it at all, and when I stepped outside I was shaking my head over why I did that. I don't even enjoy chocolate that much. 

Then I got that feeling in the back of my head, saying 'Give some to me when you get home'. I'm guessing it was Loki. But I did as I was told and gave him a line of chocolate on the altar.

And I got a dream visit last night in return! 

The first part of my dream was about me trying to find and readopt a dog (one I had in another dream) but when we did find him he bite me right through the cheek. 

But then, just like that, I was suddenly in a hall filled with plush cushioned sofas, a huge fireplace, skin rugs and a long table with chalices and plates all set out. The walls were semi transparent, and it showed me that it was on a beach, right next to the waterfront. It was not cold, so the walls were keeping the heat in, and if you didn't look too closely, it did look like the walls were solid. It had an warm glow about the place and all was so calm. 

I then saw Freyja (who was sprouting brown hair this time) lying on one of the sofas. Thor then appeared and was trying to place bracelets about her wrists. They were both laughing and giggling, trying to catch and run away from each other. Odin, who was standing, facing the fireplace softly scolded them, which Freyja called him boring with a smile, and Odin rolled his eyes and smiled back.

I was either looking through Loki's eye or he was near by were I couldn't see him, but I though Thor was acting rather out of character, so something has been niggling in my head, saying that Loki might have been shift shaping as him.

I then walked through the walls and found myself on the waterfront and the hall had vanished (but if I took a few sets back I would have been back into the hall, so I guess the hall was invisible from the outside)

There were other gods on the beach, looking out to the sea, which again, had an unearthly glow and was all white, greys and pale. It was round about sunset, after the sun had dipped over the horizon, but the sky was a grey/white, not dark or sunset colours like I expected it would have been.

I stepped up to the water and it surged powerfully at my feet, more so than a normal wave, and no matter how far back I jumped it still crawled forward. It didn't surge to the other gods littering about on the water front or behind us on the sand, just me.

I called out to the god of the sea (at first I was about to call out Kari's name, then I remembered it was Njord who is the god of the sea) and it resided back into normal waves and was calm again.

I then woke up and it's been raining with a mist all day. I don't know if Njord can control rain and mist, but it feels like it's him for some reason. So I can now add Njord to the gods/goddesses Loki's taken me to see.

The 'G' Word

Right; this morning, right before I woke up, Loki (and I think Surt) were speaking over me.

All I could remember was a funny word beginning with 'G' and the phrase 'works/walks between worlds'.

I'd been trying to figure out what that 'G' word was in my head all of today and when I came home I tried to look it up.

Now I knew of the word 'Gythia', but I thought 'Nah! I'm young, I'm not that experienced at all and I don't have the same kind of connection like the other priestesses I've heard about - they can at least talk to Loki directly.'
But I checked anyways, and the other word for priestess is 'Gothia' - but it still didn't sound right.
But then I found the original way to write 'Gothia' is 'Gyðja' ('Gydja') .... and it's pronounced as 'give-e-ya'.

Now THAT is what I heard them say.

And the phrase 'works/walks between worlds'? I check out the 'works' version (as it was one of those two words) and nothing really turned up. I tried the 'walks' and one of the hits is to Raven Kaldera's website, and uses a phrase almost similar to the one I heard.

The way it was said thought, between Loki and Surt, it sounded as if they were using that phrase as a translation; as to what they felt priestess-hood meant. And it was being said to me as I woke up.

A small part of me is happy about this - the more rational part is screaming 'No, no, NO!"
To me, there's no way I could possibly be that; I can't even speak to them directly like some can and I can't 'walk between worlds' or anything remotely shamanic. Sure, I feel a connection to them, and my characteristics and personality is very similar to what I know of fire Jotuns, and I do know things about them that I've never read before - but that is all and it's really pathetic compared to what others can do with less energy.
Right now, I really don't feel fit enough to be a Gydja or Glythia.

If the reason behind Loki and Surt getting together is for me to learn to 'walk' and go to the fire Jotuns for some lessons, I'll try, I really will. But right now, I feel rather helpless than that of a priestess.

Unless that's Loki's grand plan ...to train me up (I say Loki because that is something he would do and would have been planning from the get go when we first met. Surt might of said something, but Loki is more likely).

Fucks sake, Loki! I thought I was getting a break for college!

Ready to Go

It's nearly 11pm, and Mum and Dad are still out.
So I've slipped into my comfy clothes and am going to do some candle and meditative worship before bed.
We'll see how this goes and if anything comes in my dreams tonight.

Update (28/07/11) : Nope, nothing happened that night. But two nights later I gave Loki some 'Milky Way Stars' and had a massive heart to heart about some issues. I received some very  interesting dreams about digging up a boy who had just been buried in some red clay type mud...and he was still alive with his hand sticking out of the ground. And I had to dig him out before he died with a hand trowel . Nice.