Guess who's back....

Sorry for the absence; exams, college, work and general stress made me take a break from posting up here for a while.

Loki, Sigyn, Odin and the rest of them have been incredibly patient while I've been sorting my shit out, and even though I had tons of things to worry about, my thoughts weren't far from them.

But all that's over with for the mean time - I got an A for my HNC and have been accepted into next years HND course, I've had my jaw operation (which went better than the doctors had expected) and was out within two days of the surgery.

So this is me getting back, again, into the groove of things and apologizing to them for the lack of attention.

I'll post up the talks I've had with them in a bit, but that's me back anyways. Sorry for the wait.

Managing Time

I feel that one of my main problems is there isn't seriously enough hours in a day.

For example:

• Today is cleaning day so I have to hoover and dust my bedroom. 
• I also have three power points to be in this following week (two have to be in on Thursday) so I need to get some done today as well. 
• I've been neglecting to do any ritual or meditative work so I need to find space for that.
• I also want some free time to do things I like doing  to unwind (reading, blogging etc)
• It's also Sunday, so I need be to in bed at a reasonably hour for work tomorrow.

It amazes me constantly when I read others blogs or posts how well they can manage all these daily things and still have time left over without breaking a sweat. Maybe when I'm done with college, and hopefully have my own flat, I'll be in a position where I can devote more time to each without distractions.

I've read somewhere that cleaning the home can be turned/seen as a ritual (I suppose, cleansing the sacred space and what not) but I don't know if I can get past the 'oh-god-another-chore' feeling and look at it as something to look forward to just yet.

I have been lighting up the candles on Loki's corner lately but it doesn't feel like anything because I haven't been giving enough effort in my other areas. It feels like he's taken leave from the altar for the mean time until I can muster up something. 

It's funny how earlier this year it was constant dream after dream, and now it's very quiet - probably because I'm focusing so much on college now rather than earlier this year when I was pouring over the Edda's and thinking about them constantly.

Other Lokeans, and I, have all noticed that he does have periods when he's very 'there' and other times where he's flown off  for a while (away planning something big) and come back.

I'm hoping, internally, that he hasn't decided to hand me over to Odin for a little while - if he has then there's nothing I can really do; but after that dream and the way I acted, I've got the feeling that Odin will push me even harder in whatever he's there to teach me about. Eek.

Semi good day

I had a dream last night that my bus driver was being an absolute dick and I had to flag down another bus, who wouldn't tell me how much I was for my fare.

Annnnnd this morning my bus was half an hour late! Normally when I leave my house at 8am, I only have to wait about ten minutes tops for a bus to come up my road. It also means I usually arrive in the town about 8:30am and I can walk into college, buy my breakfast and be outside my class by 8:45am or near enough. I only just managed to get into my class on time.

The best bit is though, that there is this one driver (let's call him Mr Baldy) who I can't stand. He won't give me my single fare into town, he only lets me buy returns or All Day tickets (I'm serious, he wouldn't give me a single no matter what).
Here's how our morning conversations go:

Me: £1.40 to Guild Street please.
Him: *takes my money* Are you a student.
Me: Yes.
Him: *holds hand out* Student Card.
Me: I don't have one yet.
Him: *glare* £1.40. Are you at college?
Me: I am, yes.
Him: Hmm. St. Paul's Street - £1.90.
Me: I don't want to go to St. Paul's Street - I want off at Guild Street!
Him: Fine. You'd better buying a return.
Me: No thanks, just the single.
Him: No, it's cheaper.
Me: No it's not, I just want the single.

But this time I am fuming mad, there's a huge queue behind me, I am running late because of him and I just want a single bloody ticket to Guild Street - I don't want a return fare for £3.60 or to go another street! Just give me what I asked and get me there! And he only does it to me! No one else! They can get their tickets and be in their seats within fifteenth seconds, I have to battle and negotiate before I can get mine. And no, he's not trying to be helpful; he's just trying to waste my time and get more money off me, and becomes more unco-operative the more I don't do what he says and buy the more expensive (and in my case useless) All Day ticket.

Thankfully there's other drivers who are much nicer and give you the right fare, no backchat, with smile. They are the ones who really deserve the 'Thank you!' when you jump off at your stop. I only say it to Mr Baldy because I'm polite. The arsehole.

On the plus side, when I went book hunting I found all three books that I wanted on offer (pick and match, 3 for 2)! Horray!

Downside, my sister just crushed my dream of taking a parapsychology coarse by being an utter kill joy over how I'd never get a job. Even though I'd get a Ph.D out of it and could do other medical or psychological topics after.
Really though, I have less chance of getting a job as a photographer if I stick with this photography coarse: you'd be more likely to get a good job with a degree in a medical/science rather than with a HND in photography, surely?

Not get a good job...who'd want to hire someone with a degree in ghost hunting....Just look at Dr. Ciaran O'Keeffe, my dear sister. I'm sure his woe over having an unusual degree is softened by the sound of fame and money in his pocket. Just sayin'.

Getting a kick up the ass from Loki

Okay, a few days after an incident with 'Dr-Leer-Down-Your-Top', I was in the office and I decided I had to talk with Loki about the problem. This is roughly how Loki's side of the conversation went:

(Loki, looking a bit pissed, arms crossed, while pacing around me) 

"You shouldn't have ducked your head when you caught him. Now he thinks he can get away with it. It's basic mammal instinct, especially with wolves, remember?*  He probably thinks, as well, because of that, that you're a blushing virgin who like his attention. Don't you shake your head, you know I'm right.

He thinks you're one of those virgins in the movies that blushes over anything remotely sexual...or when they do get them in bed, they have no clue at all about what sex is and go - " 

(He started dramatically throwing his head back, musing up his hair and rubbing his hands up and down his sides, speaking in a higher pitched voice) 

" "Ooooh, I don't know what's going on! I don't know what's happening to my body - Oooh!" " 

(He stopped right then and dropped his arms to his side, looking at me with such a dead straight face that I nearly started laughing right there in the office)

"So sweetheart, now you'll have to show him that it's not on. Raise your head, prove that you have more pride in yourself than that!

He probably thinks that because he's a doctor that he's allowed to look at you that way, or just because he's got a higher work position. 

Avoid situations like the corridor where he can get the result he wants, or maybe try wear a higher neck jumper next time to avoid giving him easy opportunities where he can snag a peek. Body language is key now. Show him who's in charge!" (smiling now) "Oh yeah, I want two digestive biscuits when you get home, okay?"

So that was me being told off by Loki.

Yesterday I saw 'Dr-Leer' again, but this time I didn't feel intimidated by him anymore - granted that I still kept my distance, but I just ignored him and didn't let myself worry about his presence. I felt a hundred times better with the situation now.

*  In wolf body language, a male wolf will lower his head or bares his neck to a wolf which is bigger/stronger or more superior in the pack than himself


Update:
All this happened on Wednesday 17th, and I gave Loki the biscuits then on the same day. I, just a few minutes ago, disposed of them by putting them outside my window, onto the roof, so they could be eaten by birds or whatever - circle of life and what not.
The first thing to attempt to reach them? A raven, like Odin's Muninn and Huginn. A hint that my offering was liked, maybe?