Taking through iPods

I had been involved in a discussion last night with another Lokean on how Loki talks to us (silly comments and random ideas that appear out of nowhere seem to be the common lot) and it was mentioned that you could possibly communicative to the gods via the shuffle option on an iPod.
The other Lokean had told me they'd tried this trick, asking if Loki wanted a beer...and got the song 'I Wanna Be An Alcoholic'. Loki got his beer in the end from what I read.

So naturally I wanted a try.
I wrote down my questions as I went and I added lyric links; as I think he was bouncing between the titles and the actual lyrics themselves.

So here are the results of Loki with the iPod (click titles for lyrics):

Me: Okay, Loki. Pick any song.
Him: 'I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked' by Ida Maria (fairly obvious what he was thinking about)
Me: Okay, another.
Him: 'Tomorrow' by Avril Lavigne
Me: Does Sigyn have any requests?
Her: 'Gypsy' by Suzanne Vega (the lyrics are so Loki it's unreal)
Me: Loki, you want to pick a song for her?
Him: 'I Feel Perfect' by Porcelain and The Tramps
Me: *Laughing* Seriously, that's not very romantic.
Him: 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt (no joke, I 'aaawed' at this point)
Me: How do you feel right now?
Him: 'How To Save A Life' by The Fray
Me: Is there anything you want to say?
Him: 'Man! I Feel Like A Woman!' by Shania Twain
Me: *More laughing* This is going online. Is there anything you want  to say to them (reading)?
Him: 'You Need Me' by Ed Sheeran

Loki and Sigyn's request

I spent most of my time at work today having an internal dialogue to Loki.

I feel I have no faith; I believe in Loki but I've yet to come to the point where I can close my eyes and simply fall back into him. Most would say that's a good thing, to always keep my wits about Loki; but it's more the case where something will happen and I find myself thinking 'Was that really him doing that, or me?'

I could blame this on many things; my distrust with the Christian god and how I couldn't understand Christian's blind faith in him sometimes, my one sided struggle with Wicca for five years, my autism? It could just be that because I've been hurt so much in the past by friends, family and bullies that I have a struggle with really putting my full trust into anything.
But I want to learn to trust Loki fully.
I  have seen and received what I believe to be his methods of teaching and I'm thankful that I have; even when at times during them when I would almost shout 'enough' and give up.

I just need to find a way to stop the 'Could be's and 'What if's that creep into my head later.

-

I said to Loki then that I knew I blocked most things out, and if he has been trying to get through to me, I'm sorry and it really is something I need to over come. I really do want to beat this and break through the wall. I think, sometimes, of I had a sign - something very obvious to me that he's been around or is around - then that could very well be the starting point.
I'm not expecting miracles, but a hint would be nice.

-

In the end I kind of got one, I believe.

I'd been doing some work when I got what I could only describe as a 'surge' or 'wave'. Somehow it got translated in my head, and it showed me that Sigyn wanted me to make a 'May Cup' for her.

 I can't describe how weird it felt during that, and after it felt like I had a huge bubble in or around my chest. And there was the real urge to do this for her.

I felt instantly that this wasn't me doing this; I'd been thinking about something else when this suddenly appeared to me so it couldn't have just been my train of thought moving along.

 I thought it over; 'May Cup? Does she mean a Beltane Loving Cup? It's rather the wrong time of the year for that, isn't it?'
In the end, I spoke aloud to her that I'd do it; might take some time with getting the ingredient and what not, but I'd do it for her. I wrote it down on my hand to remember and the bubble around me moved on.

-

So since then I've been online and looking up things for the cup. I regret to say that it might not be the traditional drink of 'May Wine', made with woodruff and German wine, as I can't find the herb anywhere in the shops near me and although I am legal, most places don't accept my ID so I can't buy new wine.

I don't think she'd be too upset if I made something else for the cup; she didn't say it was to be  'May Wine', although that is traditional. I did get a mental image of a picture, from one of my Wiccan books, of a Beltane Loving Cup and I got the feeling that she likes the floating flowers in the cup more than the actual drink itself.

So, I'm planning on making up my own concoction.
I'll use a bottle of dry white wine I already have (I'll sweeten it up for her, as I feel she prefers her wines sweet) and add some sprite to make it bubbly. I'll chill it and add some strawberries when serving. Maybe I'll buy her flowers too, where I might float some flower-heads in her cup and  the rest can go on the altar.

I'll see if Loki would like something too; a beer or some kind of darker wine if he likes. I'm sure I've got a small bottle of whiskey with left that I could leave him; although I think there's only enough left to fill a shot glass or two (one for Odin maybe?)

-

Thinking about it now, it feels very symbolic:
Sigyn held the cup or bowl over her dear heart's face to stop the venom from hurting him...and now she wants me to make us* a cup of wine with flowers as an offering.
(* I think she wants me to have some with her.)

It does, in every way I look at it, feel like a direct request from her - from the 'wave' out of nowhere, that thought and image emerging, and the pressure in my chest.

I like to think she heard my thoughts to Loki (or heard them from Loki) and this is her way of trying to help me to 'fall back' and get over all my fear about my faithfulness and trust.

Maybe some girl time with Loki's loved ones will do me some good, eh?

Acceptance of Lokeans on Pagan Forums? (pt.2)

Was bouncing about the forums again when I came across a post dated from this Septrember.

The topic of the post was basically about a scholar who said that during the act of Loki throwing the mistletoe twig at Balder, it transformed into a spear - and if this was similar to another myth about the attempted mock sacrifice of King Vikar to Odin, where the twig in play also transforms into a deadly spear too.

All fine and dandy, but I noticed the author of the post is pretty famous on the website for stirring up trouble for the Lokeans, and true to form their opening line was:

 " This isn't another "lets argue about Loki" post. (Though if anyone's up for it, Im always game. ...kidding. Sort of.) "

Now really, the topic of the post didn't exactly call for an argument over how evil Loki is, but yet this person had to go and say this to encourage trouble - again.

I think this is a good example for anyone who says that Lokeans are always the ones who start trouble: Yes, in some cases some 'Lokeans' do start it ...but for most of us, we don't.
 Usually we start getting abuse when we try to point out something in a discussion that we don't really agree with. In most cases it's because they have a vendetta against our god so 'we deserve all the abuse they can dish out'.

Thankfully I noticed that participial thread only got one reply, from another member who's parton deity is Lady Hela. And they said:

" Well, if you take the rock hard poly approach, who do you think taught Loki how do that trick? "

It's always nice to see others within the Rökkatru or Rökkr taking the bull by the horns and showing them that Loki isn't the only trickster within Asgard's walls.

Managing Time

I feel that one of my main problems is there isn't seriously enough hours in a day.

For example:

• Today is cleaning day so I have to hoover and dust my bedroom. 
• I also have three power points to be in this following week (two have to be in on Thursday) so I need to get some done today as well. 
• I've been neglecting to do any ritual or meditative work so I need to find space for that.
• I also want some free time to do things I like doing  to unwind (reading, blogging etc)
• It's also Sunday, so I need be to in bed at a reasonably hour for work tomorrow.

It amazes me constantly when I read others blogs or posts how well they can manage all these daily things and still have time left over without breaking a sweat. Maybe when I'm done with college, and hopefully have my own flat, I'll be in a position where I can devote more time to each without distractions.

I've read somewhere that cleaning the home can be turned/seen as a ritual (I suppose, cleansing the sacred space and what not) but I don't know if I can get past the 'oh-god-another-chore' feeling and look at it as something to look forward to just yet.

I have been lighting up the candles on Loki's corner lately but it doesn't feel like anything because I haven't been giving enough effort in my other areas. It feels like he's taken leave from the altar for the mean time until I can muster up something. 

It's funny how earlier this year it was constant dream after dream, and now it's very quiet - probably because I'm focusing so much on college now rather than earlier this year when I was pouring over the Edda's and thinking about them constantly.

Other Lokeans, and I, have all noticed that he does have periods when he's very 'there' and other times where he's flown off  for a while (away planning something big) and come back.

I'm hoping, internally, that he hasn't decided to hand me over to Odin for a little while - if he has then there's nothing I can really do; but after that dream and the way I acted, I've got the feeling that Odin will push me even harder in whatever he's there to teach me about. Eek.

Despite the sad ending, this video reminds me of Sigyn and Loki - no idea why though.

Oh shit

I've just got up from a weird dream (I'm on holiday so I'm having a long lie in, sue me) so I'm getting it down while I still can.

-------------------

There was a friend in the dream; he looked familiar and I could point a finger at who it was out of my group of friends in real life, but because my head's still fuzzy, he could have been made up to fill in the gap.
Either way, this friend and I were going to an old man's house as we'd been round to others where the men and women had been (I think, we weren't shown) hurt or killed, and we felt this guy was next.

 A noticeable point was that the dream kept showing our clothing; my friend was dressed in normal clothes (black shirt and black trousers) but I was in a long red knee length top, brown boots and had reddish hair with a braid hanging on one side.

We get to the house and head over to the fireplace where there's a heap of books. The friend sits in a chair and I start sifting through the books; which are on occult, paganism and the Eddas.

There's a sudden sense of panic as me and my friend looked at each other- we feel something coming. I then spot another book that my friend is actually sitting on, so I pull it out. It's a book on Wotan/Odin and the wild hunt.
Next thing, the door's being kicked off the hinges and there was a storm blowing a gale. In the door way is Odin with his staff, helmet, armor and all his shining glory - the whole deal really -even his aura or presence screamed power. I would have been crapping myself at the sight of him just being there on any other day. But...

On instinct, I ran up to him and stood with my arms spread to stop him from getting to my friend - but Odin was huge and I only came up to his waist. He pushed past and made for my friend, who looked unconscious.
I start speaking softly to Odin (there was no way in hell I was going to should at HIM; coming to get my friend or not, he still had my respect as a god), saying things like "Please, Odin. Not him." "Please, leave him alone." "Odin, you can't have him."as I walked in step with him, arms behind my back, like some adviser, or tugged at his sleeve to get his attention.

Finally, when Odin's standing beside my friend, he looks at me and asks "Why do you care so much?"
"Please Odin, I'll do anything. Just leave him be." Calm as you please for standing up to the big boss.
He smiled and there was a twinkle in his good eye (not a good sign) as he leaned down to look at my face. "What would you do for him?"
I said instantly, truthfully (no way in Hell was I going to lie to him) "I'd die for him."
"You'd do that? Why is that then?"
"I'd do anything for him, just like you would do anything for your Loki." That basically jumped out of my mouth, but it must have got through to him.

Odin stood up and look at my friend.  There was another twinkle in his eye, which meant the debt I was going to owe Odin for my friend's life was either going to be hard going or would test my morals. Or sanity.
Odin vanished and my friend woke up and looked at me, but I ignored him and took his watch hand to see the time (in my other dreams, Odin has left little messages or numbers on watches) and saw a count down from 40 secs on the screen. Instantly I ran into another room while my friend went and got somethings.

The dream went on for a little while longer then I got woken up.

---------------------

That's the first dream I've had where Loki hasn't been nearby in some way; but going by the way I was speaking to Odin, what I was saying, as well as the weird clothes I had on...I wonder if I was meant to be 'playing' Loki in some way. Okay, maybe not fully as I knew I was still me, but possibly a little bit.

I'm also wondering what Odin was going to do to my friend; kill him? He wasn't the one who owned the books.
I think maybe, in a way, it was about my friend (in real life) becoming interested in Norse Paganism and in particular, Odin.  It could be that if my friend does do so, Odin will be rough with him... in a bad way.
 Still, I think if that was the case, Odin's backed off for a little bit after my little act of good friendship. But I'll be asking my friend next time I see him if he's been becoming interested in Norse teachings (might as well ask the others too, just in case).

 I'll have to wait and see if I really did pay off the debt in the dream or if that's what he wants me to do for him here in non-dream land...or if he has something else in mind.

Battery Problems

I charged my iPod up about two days ago, and it had about half a battery left last night; but this morning it was completely empty. Normally it can go up to two weeks without needing any charging at all.

This would have been a cause for concern...if I hadn't realized that I had put my iPod on Loki's altar last night before bed - I had even thought about that kind of thing happening last night, and now look!

The power-loss had been happening for a while; phone, iPods or other things draining rapidly - I thought maybe it was their batteries themselves, losing their charge as they got older, but really it's because I've been putting them on Loki's spot before bed. The bastard's been zapping the power from my stuff!
I can probably say it started when I turned the bedside table into his altar and continued to place my phone, etc, there for the mornings (and out of habit I guess)

That's got me thinking about when I leave him food offerings; does he take the 'energy' or something from them? Would leaving batteries lying on his spot be the same as leaving food? Does he actually get anything from that?
.....Na, more likely he enjoys watching me swearing and getting annoyed when I can't get my things to work.

Better remember not to leave my phone on his side of the bed now, in-case it dies and my alarm doesn't go off for college.

But still - iPod batteries, Loki? Seriously?