Here's a song I wrote for Odin nearly a year ago; I've only just had the motivation to post it up. Any ways, it follows a walking beat (I'd try and describe the song to go with it, but it'd probably sound confusing. I'd be better off making a recording later and putting it up later).

The Wanderer walks down a lonely road,
Gathering stories yet to be told.
As the darkness falls and the wind begins to call,
He follows the only road he's even known;
The lonely, wandering, traveller's road.  

As mountains rise; reaching ever blue skies,
The horizon stretches on, and the trail still leads beyond.
With a fur cloak wrap, and his ever wide brimmed hat,
Looks on with one good eye, and the wolves begin to cry.  

But he keeps walking down the ever winding road;
The lonely, wandering, travellers road.  

As his good friend, Thunder, laughs from up above,
And his dark feathered ravens being to hove.
While his blood brother, Fire, smiles and warms his hands,
Like a ship he's never sure, quite where he will land. 

But he keeps walking down the ever winding road;
The lonely, wandering, travellers road. 

No companions, only shadows, who come in tow,
With the traveller on the winding road. 

The lonely wanderer on the endless road.

Root Chakra TLC?

After my shower something grabbed my attention and it basically said I needed to start looking after my body. So I raided my makeup drawer without really thinking on it and started to rub in body moisturiser all over my legs and body; also while worrying about how I was going to do my night meditation with all this junk all over my skin that could possibly block out things. But I kept going, nodding when it said to pay attention to my feet, which I did after I'd finished the rest of me.

It was only when I was done rubbing it into my skin and was massaging the soles of my feet that I realised I was giving some serious TLC to my root chakra. I then another message that basically said this:
'You need to cleanse yourself for what's going to happen next. You've been collecting too much bad energy from everything around you, even from the ground you've been walking on.  So we're starting from the very beginning, bottom to top, roots first.'
Then I got the notion that I'll be moving on to other parts of my body or chakras as time goes on.

After that, I threw on my slippers to make my way to my bed (it felt like I needed to keep my feet off the floor directly for a while), got out some incense and am now away to try and meditate for a bit on what the hell this master plan is.

Mum had been watching some video on Youtube about a celeb's suicide (sorry, I didn't catch whose) and I stood around as they interviewed some of his famous friends. 

They were at what looked like a fancy dinner (an award show maybe) in tuxs, saying things to the camera like 'he was such a nice bloke', 'was always happy', 'it's a shame he's gone' etc.

I thought that was a bit rich them saying that, while at some sort of party which they were happily enjoying without sparing their friend a thought. Even in their eyes you could see it didn't look like they were even grieving his death one little bit.

'People have only nice things to say after they're dead.'
"Harsh, Lokes." I went upstairs for a bit, thought about what he said, then asked, "Did that comment have something to do with Balder by any chance?"
'......Perhaps.' and off he went. What a bundle of sunshine he is.

Stalker Ravens?

Sigyn's flowers finally bit the dust last night; the newest buds were still a lovely pale lilac colour, but  the stems were withering at points so they simply drooped over. I kept the white flowers, with the tiny buds though.
This morning I took the dying flowers out to a newly planted tree on the side of our road and placed them there at the base. When I reached my bus stop, I looked back, only to find two ravens hopping around the pavement near the remains. They must have thought it was food.
Still, I still can't help the instant feeling that they're really Muninn and Huginn, Odin's ravens. Whenever I'm leaving an offering, thinking about the gods, or something generally related to them, I always see two ravens flying about - could be coincidence, but I can't help but think that maybe Odin's keeping an eye on me... literally.
I KID, SIR, I KID! ...That's wasn't very tactful, sorry.

I also seem to be having problems with my back, probably from the amount of filing I had to do at work yesterday; I was hunched over my chair for five hours straight. Now I've got this knot near my shoulder blade (oddly, it also feels like its on my side, under my left arm) which grinds every time I try to breathe.
It was hard last night to do my meditation (I've started doing it at night, before bed) as the pain was more in line with my spinal cord, but not only hurting when I breathed, but pulsing/twitching a bit.
I can only hope that lying down will somehow ease the pain enough to carry on tonight.

Loki loves whiskey

I think Loki's been egging me on lately to get him some booze.
Last night I'd pulled out a small glass and a shot glass without even thinking about it. Shrugged it off I decided that I'd pour some wine for Sigyn and a shot for Loki. As I turned, there was an open bottle of whiskey on the counter that I hadn't noticed before.
"Right, ok then." and poured him his glass and took them upstairs (I keep a small bottle of wine for Sigyn in my cupboard).
When I placed his shot on to his altar, something fell off a table on the otherside of the room.
Okay then! Hello Loki, here's your booze - enjoy!

I've been giving Loki and Sigyn free rein over my music; and for the past half hour I've been lying on my bed while Loki's been playing with my ear and choosing slow, soothing songs on my iTunes.
Feeling pretty relaxed and sleepy, I asked him to choose another after that.

The song then ends, and Electric Six's 'Danger! High Voltage' comes on.

Way to ruin the mood, dear.

Update:
Since typing that last part, he's played 'The Bed Intruder Song' (hide yo kids, hide yo wife) and 'I Want To Be A Hippy' by Technohead (which I downloaded when I first met Loki because we both thought it was funny).

I'm sick of hearing other people looking at women in the street and only seeing flaws, flaws, flaws in how they look.

I'm sick of sitting in the bus and hearing girls next to me talking about guys who have been disgusted over the fact they have big thighs, or small breasts or because they don't bikini wax (and thus not making themselves look like little children down there).

I'm sick of women feeling ashamed over how they look because the world has this strict criteria of what makes a women beautiful and what doesn't.

Everyone, especially men, needs to seriously wake up and realize that this big idea of how women should look is a load of crap. What give you right to tell a women that SHE must change her appearance to check the boxes that society has set in place. Why must she lose weight to become beautiful? Why must she get a boob job to be beautiful? Why does she have to dumb herself down to be beautiful? Why does she have to wear six inch heels, a tiny skirt and a strap top with the neck ending at her mid drift to be beautiful? Why does she have to show all and offer herself up like some sort of prize pony to be beautiful?

When Marilyn Monroe was alive, she was roughly a size 16 (US size 12) and men were falling at her feet. Yet today, men are disgusted by the thought of a women who is that same size. When did being curvy be a bad thing?: When the world one day decided it was. Same goes for being intellectual and free thinking - one day it was treasured, then the next it's something grotesque and undesirable.

If a man wants a women - who is slim, blonde haired, blue eyed, submissive, who'll dress up in the latest fashion for him and will cling to his arm as his trophy until he gets bored and throws her away for a new one - then he can go to the shops and buy a fucking Barbie doll.

/rant

MIA

It seems that sometime around about when I got Sigyn her flowers last Friday, I lost my purse. No idea how.

I didn't notice till the Monday when I wanted to head up to the shop for snacks. I seriously tore my room to shreds looking for it. Then I remembered that I worship a certain Trickster...

So I was calling out to him for help and asking, if it was him, to put it back. The longer I spent looking for my purse, the more stressed I was getting. I started to take it out on him, saying stuff like:

"Seriously Loki; God or not, if this was you, I'm really gonna kick your ass! No joke!" 

All that got me was a snicker and a raised eyebrow, 'Oh really?', and he disappeared laughing, leaving me, nearly in tears, to look around my room again.

As you can guess, I didn't find my purse - if I did lose it while outside, there's no hope of me getting it back: it'd get picked up, money taken out of and the rest dumped in the bin...and if it was Loki or one of his kin, then there's no hope of it being returned...ever. 

My gut is still telling me it's somewhere in the house though.

 

I'm also a bit pissed because I had taken £20 out of my bank account earlier that day in case I bought more things for Sigyn that night; and there was about £5 in change too.

But the best part? 

Somehow, I've still got my debit card, ID and bus pass - my 'important cards'. Out of all the ones in my purse, my important ones were left, safe and sound, on my desk. 

I do have the habit of taking out my cards, then putting them into my pockets (rather than back into my purse) after...but I can't remember taking out my ID at all that week, so I've no idea how that one was safe.

The only cards that were left in my purse were one like my Waterstones point card, Library card, Organ Registrar Ticket, etc. I'll have to replace them at some point.

It could have been a lot worse though; I could have lost my debit card along with the purse, and whoever picked it up could have used my card online...or at a ATM, as I've never gotten round to changing my pin from the blindingly easy one it's at now. 

I felt like a bitch a few days later, once I accepted the fact that it was gone for good, over being pretty nasty to Loki; but he's been good natured over it and has been shrugging it off with a small grin. I think he liked the fact I was getting snappy.

Remeberance

My Mum's youth group happens to be a Christian one and we attend the Remembrance Sunday service each year, along with the boys from the other youth group.

Although I'm not Christian, I can deal with sitting in a church while our ministers prattles on about sins and what not; after all, it's about remembering fallen soldiers. I say my prayers to Hela then zoned out for the rest of the service (i.e, while he preaches for about an hour or two till no one knows what he's on about)

The minister caught my attention when he said, in a nutshell, that Christians are the only ones who pay remembrance to November 11th.

I found it a bit cheeky to assume that; considering the fact that I'm Norse Pagan and I was paying my respects. I'm sure Jews and Atheists remember and do something towards the fallen.


I'd be interested to see how others, who aren't under the Christian umbrella, pay their respects. Lighting a candle? A prayer to your local death deity? Some sort of service or group gathering? A minutes silence or wearing a poppy?

A Case of the Crazies

Round about the time I started college, I'd gotten on my usual bus back home. Across from me were two girls, one whom I knew from school.

A few stops into the journey, a man wearing scruffy clothes and a massive travelling rucksack came onto the bus and stood by the drivers cab, talking to him. Assuming he was a friend or regular of the driver, I ignored him and daydreamed.

A few minutes later he came up towards the back of the bus. Up close he looked far rougher than I imagined, and on instinct I slide my bag between myself and the window. He sat down in the seat behind the girls.

And he started to talk to them. Asked them if they went to school, what they studied. They lied of course, said they were studying to be chiefs; it's only natural when a weird man, who you have never met before, starts a random conversation. They continued to chat to each other, occasionally answering the man with short answers before returning to their own conversations. Yet, the man carried on talking to them.

I continued to stare out of the window, half listening.

"He must have something wrong with him, or he's a junkie." I thought. "He's probably crazy."

'Crazy like me?' asked Loki softly. "Aren't we all a little bit crazy?"

That made me stop and think, and after a few moments I started to listen to the man.

He praised them on going to school and said that he himself was once a chief; but he got into the wrong crowd, did drugs, and one night a fight broke out. Someone stabbed him with a used needle...and ended up he had contracted HIV from the wound. He had to quit his job as a chief. But he seemed happy; he told them he had been travelling around Africa for a five years, and was back to Scotland to visit a friend.

He then got off at his stop and as the bus carried on. The girls started to laugh. They giggled over how they thought he was going to mug them. They called him a psycho, a weirdo,  mocked his story.

I felt a swell of anger towards them. I felt I had taken and learned something from his story, which he had chosen to talk about to two random girls on a bus. I felt I had been given a small grain of wisdom, and was horrified that they simply dismissed him because he had spoken to them.

I then became angry at myself for judging him so quickly at the start.

I felt Loki smile and nod.

'Maybe crazy people aren't all that crazy. Maybe they are simply travelers who have a good story to tell.'

Sigyn's offering

I think it went pretty well (although earlier I remembered I was going to get strawberries to add to her cup - whoops). Walking home, carrying a bundle of flowers to give to a certain goddess is probably one of the strangest thing's I've done so far, I'll admit.

I couldn't decided on the wine to give her, as I wanted to give her something sweet but I have no clue when it comes to drinks. I ended up sticking my finger in each and tasting them...and nearly dislocated my arm in the process of removing a cork from a wine I got about seven years ago. Loki got his beer while I concocted something for us girls.

It didn't taste all that great - but that could have just been me as I'm not a fan of wine, and hence why I doused it with Sprite to try and sweeten it up.

Things were pretty quiet for a while; just me watching the altar while sipping my drink.

I then decided to lift up Sigyn's bowl and hold it in my hands for a while.
After fifteen minuets, I was still holding out the bowl - arms shaking like nuts, hands twitching the bowl as if to toss out the drink. I could never possibly fully appreciate how hard it must have been for her to hold her own bowl over Loki for years and years - I only did fifteen minutes and I was struggling.

Conveniently, it was midnight when I put the bowl back, and meditated for another fifteen. It always feels like I'm being pulled upward when I meditate - not just my spine straightening, but really going up. There was also something touching my jaw and then on my cheek under my eye which got annoying up to the end.

There wasn't any hints as to why she wanted an impromptu 'Beltane Loving Cup' and she was silent throughout, as was Loki - funnily enough, during my bowl holding, I noticed that his candle had gone out. I might take that as him leaving while I basically reenacted what Sigyn has done (or will be doing - their time is different form ours) for him.

That was about it for that ritual anyways, nothing much. Maybe something will happen soon - this might have been part one in a sort of payment installment for asking for her help, I don't know.

I keep getting a warm feeling every time I turn round and look at their altar - almost feels like they're there, smiling at each other and sharing their drinks.

So, that's it for this post. I'll leave you with a new picture of the altar (it looks a lot cozier when the candles are lit and the oil burner is going...not to mention a bowl of wine and a pint of beer):

Since Sigyn has been hovering around, I feel more inclined to not say I'm a only a Lokean, but rather say I'm a Norse Pagan or 'right smack bang within the Rökkatru/Rökkr patheon'. Good times.

Fretting aside, I'm legitimatly looking forward to tonight with Siygn. Even the altar, which was Loki's corner, has become a bit more feminine looking - I gave her an old teddy I had since I was little and sat it amongst my pagan books.
I also found yesterday at college one of those small plastic flowers lying on the floor in the hallway - it was only the flower head, but it looked so out of place I instinctively picked it up and carried on. It's now sitting beside Loki's carnelian stone and Sigyn's rose quartz, at the base of my white candle.

If I had the room I'd make separate altars for any of them who stopped by, but for now it'll do - I don't think they mind too much sharing a space. I even think they rather like it.


Last night I tried some meditation lying down - to help me sleep. It was going pretty well, then cue a massive full body spasm which knocked my concentration and I couldn't get back into my rhythm. I'm used to twitching hands and heads turning suddenly, but this is a first that my entire body jolted.
Must have had a lot of tension that needed booted out, heh.

Ritual and Tarot

I've been going over and over the details for my offering to Sigyn tomorrow...today. It's also a full moon tonight, which is lovely - I'll have to ask out to Kari if he'll move the clouds out so we can see Mani through the window. It's been horrible weather for the past few days.

I've also been wondering where Loki has gone off to; is he just gone for the meantime? Is he waiting till Sigyn has taught me something before moving back in? What if he's really gone for good?

I think even if he's gone off me, I'll still leave offerings and pray; I would say I'm still a keen lover of the trickster even if he's left. I've had no clear indication from him as to if he's gone or not; besides from an absence, that even I can feel in my gut, saying he's not nearby. It makes me sad and tearful to think that he might have up and left...but like I said, he hasn't said he's passing me over to his wife so that could mean he's coming back.

For all I know he could have planned for us to have a 'girly get together' so we could sort out my issues for when he gets back - I have a small ounce of hope saying that is what's going on: Sigyn wants me to learn to have faith in something that looks impossible and to help heal up any wounds I might have reopened by mistake.
Whether it was Loki who asked Siygn for this or if it was Sigyn who insisted she'd be the one for this job, I don't know.

Times like these make me wish I could go to someone who does work with them and ask what's being said - but sadly all we have is normal psychics who do normal readings: no deity speakers, 'horses' or god workers here.

Speaking of readings: I did a tarot reading just now: I asked, in general, about this whole 'Loki leaving, Sigyn stepping up' event, and did it to the three card spread.

Past: King of Cups
Present: The Star
Future: 10 of Cups

And I then asked for Sigyn to give three things I need to do to improve myself (religiously).

1.  3 of Wands
2.  Knight of Swords
3.  The Chariot

Very interesting results....what more can I say.

Ouch..

I was thinking about preparations for giving Sigyn her May Cup this Friday and remembered I had a wax tart of Sweet Violet (I have a feeling they're one of her favorite flowers) in my candle box; which meant getting rid of the left overs of my last tart in my oil burner.

It was still a bit liquid at the top but I thought I'd manage to get it all down to the kitchen without spilling. Forgot to touch wood.

Spilled it all over my hands and found out rather quickly it was still scalding hot. It also went over the faces of my drawers and splashed on some tights in an open drawer below, and a few drops went onto my carpet.

Luckily I seem to be immune to hot wax so my hands are completely fine; blister and lobster coloured free. 

The wax easily lifted off the wood; but I had to pull what wax I could from my carpet with my fingers and found that using a wad of sandpaper-ish looking stuff lifted most of it out, which I didn't expect. (I wouldn't advise anyone to do this to their own carpets, I'm just a reckless idiot) I'll see how it looks after the next time I hoover.

 I also think I got the wax mostly out of my tights by dousing them in a bath of boiling water then adding cool water so the oil  on the the surface solidified.

At least I now know how not to go about cleaning my oil burner next time...and the best way to de-wax clothes. 

I bet Loki found all this quite amusing; it was basically all done as soon as I got the burner clear of his altar top.

Taking through iPods

I had been involved in a discussion last night with another Lokean on how Loki talks to us (silly comments and random ideas that appear out of nowhere seem to be the common lot) and it was mentioned that you could possibly communicative to the gods via the shuffle option on an iPod.
The other Lokean had told me they'd tried this trick, asking if Loki wanted a beer...and got the song 'I Wanna Be An Alcoholic'. Loki got his beer in the end from what I read.

So naturally I wanted a try.
I wrote down my questions as I went and I added lyric links; as I think he was bouncing between the titles and the actual lyrics themselves.

So here are the results of Loki with the iPod (click titles for lyrics):

Me: Okay, Loki. Pick any song.
Him: 'I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked' by Ida Maria (fairly obvious what he was thinking about)
Me: Okay, another.
Him: 'Tomorrow' by Avril Lavigne
Me: Does Sigyn have any requests?
Her: 'Gypsy' by Suzanne Vega (the lyrics are so Loki it's unreal)
Me: Loki, you want to pick a song for her?
Him: 'I Feel Perfect' by Porcelain and The Tramps
Me: *Laughing* Seriously, that's not very romantic.
Him: 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt (no joke, I 'aaawed' at this point)
Me: How do you feel right now?
Him: 'How To Save A Life' by The Fray
Me: Is there anything you want to say?
Him: 'Man! I Feel Like A Woman!' by Shania Twain
Me: *More laughing* This is going online. Is there anything you want  to say to them (reading)?
Him: 'You Need Me' by Ed Sheeran

Loki and Sigyn's request

I spent most of my time at work today having an internal dialogue to Loki.

I feel I have no faith; I believe in Loki but I've yet to come to the point where I can close my eyes and simply fall back into him. Most would say that's a good thing, to always keep my wits about Loki; but it's more the case where something will happen and I find myself thinking 'Was that really him doing that, or me?'

I could blame this on many things; my distrust with the Christian god and how I couldn't understand Christian's blind faith in him sometimes, my one sided struggle with Wicca for five years, my autism? It could just be that because I've been hurt so much in the past by friends, family and bullies that I have a struggle with really putting my full trust into anything.
But I want to learn to trust Loki fully.
I  have seen and received what I believe to be his methods of teaching and I'm thankful that I have; even when at times during them when I would almost shout 'enough' and give up.

I just need to find a way to stop the 'Could be's and 'What if's that creep into my head later.

-

I said to Loki then that I knew I blocked most things out, and if he has been trying to get through to me, I'm sorry and it really is something I need to over come. I really do want to beat this and break through the wall. I think, sometimes, of I had a sign - something very obvious to me that he's been around or is around - then that could very well be the starting point.
I'm not expecting miracles, but a hint would be nice.

-

In the end I kind of got one, I believe.

I'd been doing some work when I got what I could only describe as a 'surge' or 'wave'. Somehow it got translated in my head, and it showed me that Sigyn wanted me to make a 'May Cup' for her.

 I can't describe how weird it felt during that, and after it felt like I had a huge bubble in or around my chest. And there was the real urge to do this for her.

I felt instantly that this wasn't me doing this; I'd been thinking about something else when this suddenly appeared to me so it couldn't have just been my train of thought moving along.

 I thought it over; 'May Cup? Does she mean a Beltane Loving Cup? It's rather the wrong time of the year for that, isn't it?'
In the end, I spoke aloud to her that I'd do it; might take some time with getting the ingredient and what not, but I'd do it for her. I wrote it down on my hand to remember and the bubble around me moved on.

-

So since then I've been online and looking up things for the cup. I regret to say that it might not be the traditional drink of 'May Wine', made with woodruff and German wine, as I can't find the herb anywhere in the shops near me and although I am legal, most places don't accept my ID so I can't buy new wine.

I don't think she'd be too upset if I made something else for the cup; she didn't say it was to be  'May Wine', although that is traditional. I did get a mental image of a picture, from one of my Wiccan books, of a Beltane Loving Cup and I got the feeling that she likes the floating flowers in the cup more than the actual drink itself.

So, I'm planning on making up my own concoction.
I'll use a bottle of dry white wine I already have (I'll sweeten it up for her, as I feel she prefers her wines sweet) and add some sprite to make it bubbly. I'll chill it and add some strawberries when serving. Maybe I'll buy her flowers too, where I might float some flower-heads in her cup and  the rest can go on the altar.

I'll see if Loki would like something too; a beer or some kind of darker wine if he likes. I'm sure I've got a small bottle of whiskey with left that I could leave him; although I think there's only enough left to fill a shot glass or two (one for Odin maybe?)

-

Thinking about it now, it feels very symbolic:
Sigyn held the cup or bowl over her dear heart's face to stop the venom from hurting him...and now she wants me to make us* a cup of wine with flowers as an offering.
(* I think she wants me to have some with her.)

It does, in every way I look at it, feel like a direct request from her - from the 'wave' out of nowhere, that thought and image emerging, and the pressure in my chest.

I like to think she heard my thoughts to Loki (or heard them from Loki) and this is her way of trying to help me to 'fall back' and get over all my fear about my faithfulness and trust.

Maybe some girl time with Loki's loved ones will do me some good, eh?

Acceptance of Lokeans on Pagan Forums? (pt.2)

Was bouncing about the forums again when I came across a post dated from this Septrember.

The topic of the post was basically about a scholar who said that during the act of Loki throwing the mistletoe twig at Balder, it transformed into a spear - and if this was similar to another myth about the attempted mock sacrifice of King Vikar to Odin, where the twig in play also transforms into a deadly spear too.

All fine and dandy, but I noticed the author of the post is pretty famous on the website for stirring up trouble for the Lokeans, and true to form their opening line was:

 " This isn't another "lets argue about Loki" post. (Though if anyone's up for it, Im always game. ...kidding. Sort of.) "

Now really, the topic of the post didn't exactly call for an argument over how evil Loki is, but yet this person had to go and say this to encourage trouble - again.

I think this is a good example for anyone who says that Lokeans are always the ones who start trouble: Yes, in some cases some 'Lokeans' do start it ...but for most of us, we don't.
 Usually we start getting abuse when we try to point out something in a discussion that we don't really agree with. In most cases it's because they have a vendetta against our god so 'we deserve all the abuse they can dish out'.

Thankfully I noticed that participial thread only got one reply, from another member who's parton deity is Lady Hela. And they said:

" Well, if you take the rock hard poly approach, who do you think taught Loki how do that trick? "

It's always nice to see others within the Rökkatru or Rökkr taking the bull by the horns and showing them that Loki isn't the only trickster within Asgard's walls.

Managing Time

I feel that one of my main problems is there isn't seriously enough hours in a day.

For example:

• Today is cleaning day so I have to hoover and dust my bedroom. 
• I also have three power points to be in this following week (two have to be in on Thursday) so I need to get some done today as well. 
• I've been neglecting to do any ritual or meditative work so I need to find space for that.
• I also want some free time to do things I like doing  to unwind (reading, blogging etc)
• It's also Sunday, so I need be to in bed at a reasonably hour for work tomorrow.

It amazes me constantly when I read others blogs or posts how well they can manage all these daily things and still have time left over without breaking a sweat. Maybe when I'm done with college, and hopefully have my own flat, I'll be in a position where I can devote more time to each without distractions.

I've read somewhere that cleaning the home can be turned/seen as a ritual (I suppose, cleansing the sacred space and what not) but I don't know if I can get past the 'oh-god-another-chore' feeling and look at it as something to look forward to just yet.

I have been lighting up the candles on Loki's corner lately but it doesn't feel like anything because I haven't been giving enough effort in my other areas. It feels like he's taken leave from the altar for the mean time until I can muster up something. 

It's funny how earlier this year it was constant dream after dream, and now it's very quiet - probably because I'm focusing so much on college now rather than earlier this year when I was pouring over the Edda's and thinking about them constantly.

Other Lokeans, and I, have all noticed that he does have periods when he's very 'there' and other times where he's flown off  for a while (away planning something big) and come back.

I'm hoping, internally, that he hasn't decided to hand me over to Odin for a little while - if he has then there's nothing I can really do; but after that dream and the way I acted, I've got the feeling that Odin will push me even harder in whatever he's there to teach me about. Eek.

Despite the sad ending, this video reminds me of Sigyn and Loki - no idea why though.