Acceptance of Lokeans on Pagan Forums? (not any time soon)

For the better half of seven years since I was introduced to runes, I've never memorised them. Then yesterday I spent the better half of the day copying every rune I could find into my little notebook and writing down meanings, uses and which deities they're associated with.
I hadn't planned on doing that for about three hours, I just came home and found myself grabbing a clean notebook and started writing.


In other news, on one of the pagan forums, there had been a discussion over an acclaimed heathen author and his newest book - the reason for the post was due to his controversial writings of the gods.
Anyways, the other heathens on the site were kicking up a fuss as he had written that Loki was an unsung hero, among other things.

What got me was when one of the senior staff members, who was heathen, really began to rip Loki's name to shreds (bearing in mind that this pagan site had many members of other religions, including Lokeans).
It made me pretty upset, and rather mad, that he would say that the author was an idiot to say Loki was good; he posted that Loki has no good about him at all, is a villain, the disgrace of the whole religion etc.
Now I think that most Lokeans are used to stuff like this, but as I said, this site had hundred of members including Lokeans. If that post had been about an author writing about Wicca, or Flamekeeping, or Kemetic, they would have been a bit more cautious in what they were saying. Even if it was about Kali, they might have watched what they said in case they offend ones who devote themselves to her.
It just seems unfair that although more of people are turning to Loki, he and we are still baring the brunt of the heathens and asatrus wrath.

It just feels unfair and a bit discriminative that while they welcome those who worship other destructive deities, and we're still getting metaphorically lurched where ever we turn.

I would have, if I had been anyone else, written an reply to his post. But I didn't. Contrary to most beliefs, this Lokean doesn't like kicking up a fuss or causing arguments. What would I have said anyway? "Hi there, that comment offended me. Please stop."? Even if he was part of the staff, I'd doubt he'd bottle up his rage about Loki just for me and the others. He probably would have called us out on the subject - "Yes Loki is a distructive god, yes he causes a bit of trouble, yes he causes Ragnarok, but he has got some good about him!" The people on the thread would have laughed in our faces and called us naive and posted more stuff up about him.

This isn't the first time the heathens there have started thread topics to really have at it about Loki. And Lokeans trying to have their say is part of the fun for them to really start getting rude and aggressive. So when the Lokeans start fighting back, the heathen then say "Oh, typical Lokeans, starting trouble."
I should really stop joining pagan sites, those posts just get me all riled up and upset. I spend more effort online being the absolute definition of niceness and politeness to try and do my bit in stopping the 'evil lokean' belief and not getting into online arguments where they could turn on us.

If they can accept Satanists and followers of Kali or other destructive gods, or even death deities like Hela, then why can't they get a grip and accept us? I really don't get the heathens and asatrus sometimes.

Soooo, my first day at college

The buses decided to run on time today, resulting in me getting into town much earlier than I expected, but that gave me time to daudle around W.H.Smith and look at their books. I'm surprised at the number of books that I've had trouble finding in Waterstones; I'll vow that I'll check WHS first next time. I didn't have enough money for a book in the end, so I just got my lunch and headed to the college.

Most people scoff when they hear people say how much they think about gods or worship during their normal day to day lives; I was one of those people untill I realised that I'm basically thinking over Norse tales and about Loki or the others constantly. I spent the entire walk to the college eating the fruit salad I had bought and thinking about Idunna's golden apples as I munched on mine: what would Idunna's taste like? Would you feel the magick in them as you ate them? Would she like some apples left somewhere in offering? I don't worship her really, but I think she'd like them anyways.

I had hoped that I'd run into some people I knew for the inductions, and I spotted a familiar back and head of hair outside the doors, so I did the usual thing and ran up to them and kicked their bag (after, you know, checking that I was really them and not some random...cause that would be really awkward). So we chatted about school, results, how the group is being really bitchy lately, then we headed inside and went to our separate departments for our inductions. 

Two hours later - after a tour, discussing topics, looking at timetables - I headed into the town.

...Okay not true, I hung about for about half an hour, as I didn't know if it was just a break for lunch or if that was it. I gave up in the end THEN I went into town for a browse.

I headed into the local Pagan shop for a look; I hadn't thought about buying anything (I didn't have much) but I spotted a chunk of carnelian and a spiral metal pendant for holding rocks. I thought about that necklace that I dreamed about and decided, yes, I will buy and somehow make that for Loki.

And I did, and am wearing it now. It's a bit bland and doesn't have the beads like in the dream (I might add them on if I get some) but I really like it.

 I had been thinking for a while that my Mjölnir pendant wouldn't properly show that I belong to Loki, even thought I had bought one with a red gem, just for him. Thor's Hammer is considered a universal symbol for those of Norse Pagan beliefs, but people would assume that my god is Thor, and I wanted to find something that would be directly linked to him. 

I've always linked carnelian stones to Loki (no idea why) and I've decorated his alter in them; at the shop, I didn't look at all the stones on offer, I just immediately zoned in on them out of all the others.

Update:

After typing that last paragraph, I decided I would try and see if carnelian is linked to him or why I would think that (I do have a crystal handbook, but I couldn't even recite one of the stones out of it so i doubt it's something I read in there. I did check anyways, and it didn't say much).

I found this site which goes into detail about the properties of carnelian and it's said to help public speaking, give courage, linked to the root chakra, gives optimism and helps relieve stress, among other things. (I read it through going 'shiiiit, no wonder I got the Loki vibe off of it.')

I can't be far off the mark, as some other Lokeans, or those who worship within the Rökkr, have used carnelian in their ritual or dedication jewelry too. Could just be because they like the orange colour, which would suit them, or they feel the same as me. Either way, if more than one person is doing the same, then you must be doing something right.

Just a note

So, in a few hours I'll be starting my first day at college!
I'm feeling a little bit nervous (only natural) and I've been chanting in my head all this morning, "Please, Loki, let me have a good day. Let me have a good day."
I think the biggest difference will be the fact that I will not be with friends there and I'll have to try and make new ones.
Although, said friends haven't really been talkative lately since I quit their project. No words to me at all.

 I even sent out an email on Monday, asking (on my last day of freedom, Wednesday) if anyone wanted to hang out, get a coffee - and no one replied.
 I know they could have been busy, but I'm getting the feeling that because I had the guts to say that I wasn't going to waste my precious time and money on this mini-film; while the rest of the gang hung their heads and resigned themselves to their fate of being roped in without really having a choice in the matter.
I feel like I'm being shunned for however long they see fit to keep me at a distance because of all that, and I've been getting the feeling that Loki's dancing about going: "See! Told you, told you! I said this would happen ages ago, and you saw only one aspect of that particular lesson then - now, this is another aspect of that same lesson, my dear. I warned you they would do this and now you can see it for yourself, no rose tinted glasses."

I might do another post later, after college.
Till then, hail Loki and let this be a really good day :)

Necklace Idea?

I had another dream last night:

I was dreaming that I was trying to get to work but I kept going over to a shop window to look inside. It was a full of dream catchers of every varitity so I went on my way, only to walk back to the window a few minutes later.

This time, on the display, it showed possible alter items. My eye caught that of a orange glazed fire bowl and some small gold statues of Loki - either smiling with his hand on his hip, ones with him and Fenrir, or when he was disguised as 'Freyja's maid when him and Thor went to retrieve his hammer. 

 I made a mental note to get those items for my alter and I went inside . 

As I wandered inside, I looked up and hanging from hooks were necklaces of all colours, when I spotted the following one.

It was decorated with chipped crystals as beads (in red, orange, gold) , which started about half way round the chain and stopped at the front, leaving a gap. From that gap, on a smaller bit of chain, hung a rounded, red stone encased in some silver so it didn't fall out. Carved into the stone with silver paint was an image of Sleipnir.

I immediately reached up and tried to free the necklace from the hook, but it was too high. One of the workers of the shop used a pole and brought it down and I put it on. I didn't have to pay for it as I left, and no one said otherwise.

Since then, I've been on the internet, trying to see if I've seen something like it before or what, but as far as I know the necklace I dreamed about hasn't been made.

It would have been a combination of the following pictures. Who knows, I might plan to make something similar if I can find the material in town. I'll have to see.

Introduced to Njord

Mum and Dad went out yesterday, so I finally had the time to go for a walk around the neighborhood and to buy some snacks. It was pretty misty and damp, but funnily enough I was really happy about the weather. Sun and heat is all nice, but it feels like nothings happening. When it's raining or there's mist, it's a visible sign that nature is doing something; rain feels like all the bad energy is being washed away, and mist just screams to me that something is happening that needs to be hidden - like something out of a Victoria crime novel, with the black capes swirling in the London smog as a murder is committed.

I spent most of the walk thinking about Loki (nothing new, just musing away over things) and I reached the shop to get a bottle of Pepsi. As I was paying for the Pepsi, I just reached out and added bar of chocolate to my buys - no reason for it at all, and when I stepped outside I was shaking my head over why I did that. I don't even enjoy chocolate that much. 

Then I got that feeling in the back of my head, saying 'Give some to me when you get home'. I'm guessing it was Loki. But I did as I was told and gave him a line of chocolate on the altar.

And I got a dream visit last night in return! 

The first part of my dream was about me trying to find and readopt a dog (one I had in another dream) but when we did find him he bite me right through the cheek. 

But then, just like that, I was suddenly in a hall filled with plush cushioned sofas, a huge fireplace, skin rugs and a long table with chalices and plates all set out. The walls were semi transparent, and it showed me that it was on a beach, right next to the waterfront. It was not cold, so the walls were keeping the heat in, and if you didn't look too closely, it did look like the walls were solid. It had an warm glow about the place and all was so calm. 

I then saw Freyja (who was sprouting brown hair this time) lying on one of the sofas. Thor then appeared and was trying to place bracelets about her wrists. They were both laughing and giggling, trying to catch and run away from each other. Odin, who was standing, facing the fireplace softly scolded them, which Freyja called him boring with a smile, and Odin rolled his eyes and smiled back.

I was either looking through Loki's eye or he was near by were I couldn't see him, but I though Thor was acting rather out of character, so something has been niggling in my head, saying that Loki might have been shift shaping as him.

I then walked through the walls and found myself on the waterfront and the hall had vanished (but if I took a few sets back I would have been back into the hall, so I guess the hall was invisible from the outside)

There were other gods on the beach, looking out to the sea, which again, had an unearthly glow and was all white, greys and pale. It was round about sunset, after the sun had dipped over the horizon, but the sky was a grey/white, not dark or sunset colours like I expected it would have been.

I stepped up to the water and it surged powerfully at my feet, more so than a normal wave, and no matter how far back I jumped it still crawled forward. It didn't surge to the other gods littering about on the water front or behind us on the sand, just me.

I called out to the god of the sea (at first I was about to call out Kari's name, then I remembered it was Njord who is the god of the sea) and it resided back into normal waves and was calm again.

I then woke up and it's been raining with a mist all day. I don't know if Njord can control rain and mist, but it feels like it's him for some reason. So I can now add Njord to the gods/goddesses Loki's taken me to see.

Getting a kick up the ass from Loki

Okay, a few days after an incident with 'Dr-Leer-Down-Your-Top', I was in the office and I decided I had to talk with Loki about the problem. This is roughly how Loki's side of the conversation went:

(Loki, looking a bit pissed, arms crossed, while pacing around me) 

"You shouldn't have ducked your head when you caught him. Now he thinks he can get away with it. It's basic mammal instinct, especially with wolves, remember?*  He probably thinks, as well, because of that, that you're a blushing virgin who like his attention. Don't you shake your head, you know I'm right.

He thinks you're one of those virgins in the movies that blushes over anything remotely sexual...or when they do get them in bed, they have no clue at all about what sex is and go - " 

(He started dramatically throwing his head back, musing up his hair and rubbing his hands up and down his sides, speaking in a higher pitched voice) 

" "Ooooh, I don't know what's going on! I don't know what's happening to my body - Oooh!" " 

(He stopped right then and dropped his arms to his side, looking at me with such a dead straight face that I nearly started laughing right there in the office)

"So sweetheart, now you'll have to show him that it's not on. Raise your head, prove that you have more pride in yourself than that!

He probably thinks that because he's a doctor that he's allowed to look at you that way, or just because he's got a higher work position. 

Avoid situations like the corridor where he can get the result he wants, or maybe try wear a higher neck jumper next time to avoid giving him easy opportunities where he can snag a peek. Body language is key now. Show him who's in charge!" (smiling now) "Oh yeah, I want two digestive biscuits when you get home, okay?"

So that was me being told off by Loki.

Yesterday I saw 'Dr-Leer' again, but this time I didn't feel intimidated by him anymore - granted that I still kept my distance, but I just ignored him and didn't let myself worry about his presence. I felt a hundred times better with the situation now.

*  In wolf body language, a male wolf will lower his head or bares his neck to a wolf which is bigger/stronger or more superior in the pack than himself


Update:
All this happened on Wednesday 17th, and I gave Loki the biscuits then on the same day. I, just a few minutes ago, disposed of them by putting them outside my window, onto the roof, so they could be eaten by birds or whatever - circle of life and what not.
The first thing to attempt to reach them? A raven, like Odin's Muninn and Huginn. A hint that my offering was liked, maybe?