24 Jul 2011

Trying To Create Balance

A few days ago, it was decided that Leo (my 14 week old rabbit), was going to be moved from the study into my room - we're planning on getting him a larger cage and my dressing table is the only free surface big enough for it to go.

But my dressing table was actually my alter space with all my candles, incense etc. I had no choice but to move all my gear somewhere else. It had to be in an open space (I couldn't bear the thought of hiding my tools in a cupboard), it had to be easy to reach (so the shelves were out) and it had to be big enough at least to hold the very basics.
But there was no room, at all.
I must have stood for a good half hour, turning around, looking to see where I could move-this-to-create-space-there. A bit of reorganization later and I had converted my beside table into a ... shrine, I guess. It's not the best and it doesn't compare to my old alter - which I had received nice comments about when I posted a photo online a few years back - but it would have to make do.
I said a message to Loki (as it is basically his shrine) that if he sees room for improvement or would like something added, to give me a hint.
So far: flowers would be nice, some image of himself (statue, picture or symbol) and maybe a cloth.

As for the 'Quiet Worship Time' I had planned to do to help get myself back into daily worship, I think most of the meditations were designed for those who live alone or have the time in the day to sit down and have peace and quiet for a few hours.
Apparently, these meditations don't really work when you still live at home with your parents and older sister (Which also means my plan to live as stress free as possible is buggered. No one is stress free when they still live at home, you nearly murder each other every week.). It's a struggle to concentrate.

The only time I can focus is at night, about twelve or one in the morning when everyone is asleep; I even tried last night, but the problem was that Leo was still moving about. I tried using meditation podcasts and music on my iPod to tune everything out....but it was 1am, I was shattered, and I ended up rolling over and going to sleep. And I can't do it during the day as I work full time during the summer holidays.

I'm struggling a bit with how much time I can really give and I can only give very brief rituals or very meager offerings to Loki of sweets and energy drinks (which I'm lucky that he likes)

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