Wotan and The Hunt

Last night's meditation found me on the outskirts of a forest with Mar circling around me.
We could hear music just over the hill and we could see a party happening around a bonfire when we peered over the mound.


Spying some food and drink, I told Mar to stay hidden but nearby, and I headed towards the party. After chatting and dancing, I collected a cup of wine and a ham joint. Spotting Mar slinking around behind some tables, we moved into the tree line where I sat down to drink and Mar gnawing on his joint. 
Mar started growling and I turned to my left to see a cloaked hooded figure with a tall walking staff close by. I stood up and pulled out my sword.
He didn't acknowledge us and continued to watch the party through the trees.

After a while, he looked to us and extended a hand. With a bit of wariness, due to Mar's growling, I took his hand and we started to walk away from the bonfire and into the woods, with Mar trotting along with a half eaten scrap of meat.
I asked if he was Odin. He said no and that he was Wotan, God of The Hunt. 'Fair enough.

Finally we reached a clearing in the forest, with only a few roots and ragged tree stumps littered about. I stepped away from Wotan to look at some of the stumps at the edge of the clearing before turning to look back at him.

He was standing at the opposite side of the clearing, and it looked like he had grown bigger, taller and was now just this huge black mass. If he was scary before, he was terrifying now, and he was drawing a sword.

I drew mine and called to Mar who started snarling and creeping forward to stand by me, but Wotan only had to look and Mar whined and backed off. I shouted again, but my wolf was staying put.

Wotan egged me on to attack him; when I didn't, he swung his sword and I whacked it away with my own. He wasn't even trying or putting in any effort but I was still being knocked off balance by deflecting his blows. He told me through out to fight like 'my mother' would, which I ignored.

At one point I even shouted that I can't use a sword, and all I got was 'Do you deserve another another weapon? Do you think you deserve a bow or an axe?'.

After blocking his attacks a few more times he moved back and started telling me again that I needed to become like 'my mother. When I asked who my mother was (realising he wasn't talking about my real mum) he said, cryptic as usual, the mother of monsters, wolves, blood and hearts.
When he saw that I had realised he was talking about Angrboda, he went back to his side of the clearing and told me to become wild like her, like a wolf.

I remember he said "You and Mar are one and the same, same soul. Embrace Mar, become the beast." and began to tell me to berserk, which I argued that I couldn't do.

He started yelling things that made me territorial, protective and angry, "Murder! Rape! The killing your kin!", and I began to feel the 'wolf' start to rise up in me. I started to snarl at him. Even my physical body was reacting and was trying to spring up and attack from a lying down position.

When it reached it's peak, Wotan and I stated howling (I think even Mar joined in). He took up stance again and I attacked him straight off the bat - swinging my sword, kicking, clawing at him when I was close enough.
I went nuts until he managed to shove me off my feet, onto my back, and pinned my arms. I still kicked and tried to head butt him until I had calmed down.

He looked at me for a moment, then laughed (for a shocking moment, I thought it was Loki), kissed my forehead and stood up.

Feeling out of sorts after going mad like that, I called to Mar. He lied down next to me, while I clung to the fur of his neck and Wotan brushed some wet leaves off his sword. 
The next time I looked up, Wotan was gone. Collecting my sword, and Mar got his remaining ham joint, we headed back to the bonfire.

The fire had puttered out and the people had left. I collected some left over food, a small knife which I felt compelled to hide in my boot and a shield which I strapped to my back.
Following Mar, we headed into another part of the woods; I felt a bit protective and drew Algiz, Thurisaz and Tiwaz around us.

We arrived at a smaller clearing with a hut; I sent Mar out to see if he could smell anyone about. Went he indicated there wasn't any, I came over and we entered the hut.
I promised Mar I'd meet him here next time and I ended the meditation.